We’re getting real with you today. Should you have kids at your wedding? Whether this is a part of the wedding planning you’ve looked forward to for years, or the question you’ve been avoiding all along, it’s a topic that begs you to ask some hard questions. No matter what your opinion is, it’s totally valid! But in case you’ve been on the fence, it might be time to whip out an old T-chart for some pros and cons. Because at the end of the day, this is a decision you’ll want to be comfortable with. And nothing says solidarity in a choice like a good old fashioned list.

flower girls helping bride with her train
Photo by Hannah Rose Gray

ring bearer leather jacket
Photo by Reality and Retrospect from this wedding jacket roundup

Pro | The Cute Factor
We’ll start with the obvious. Children in mini bowties or mini shoes or mini tulle skirts are just plain adorable. They’ll add an element of warmth to your day and are sure to garner some smiles and “awwwws.” If you don’t believe us, we’ve got the evidence to back it up here, here and even here. Plus, you’ll have a ball helping your flower girl + ring bearer search for the perfect wedding day attire because again, little ones are fun to dress up.

all white bridesmaid dresses and cute flower girl
Photo by Olivia Rae James

seersucker blue ring bearers
Photo by M&J Photography

Con | The Potential for Chaos
On the flipside is the not so cute stuff. The potential for tantrums, hissyfits, unwillingness to walk down the aisle or just plain rowdiness. Kids are unpredictable, and much like adults when they find out the restaurant is out of mozzarella sticks, they’ll cry over anything and everything. You probably don’t picture a child screaming out during your vows or first dance, but hey, when you throw kids in the mix – it’s the kind of thing that can happen.

black tie wedding flower girl dress
Photo by Amanda K Photography

flower girl with apricot wedding bouquet
Photo by Sophie Epton from this painterly wedding inspiration

Pro | The Treasured Memories
Weddings are a golden opportunity for those sweet and meaningful moments both you and the important littles in your life will treasure for years to come. Not to mention, you’ll seem like a god in their eyes for inviting them to a grown-up event that’s super important. This kind of stuff sticks. If you were ever a flower girl or ring bearer when you were younger (skill and temperament aside), you’ll totally know what we mean.

Alfresco Vow Renewal Celebration #vowrenewal #microwedding #intimatewedding #indigowedding
Photo by Birds of a Feather from this 10 year vow renewal

destination wedding in south of france kids running
Photo by M&J Photography

Con | The Guest Count
One thing to keep in mind is that as the guest count goes up, so does the cost. Your caterer is likely charging per head, and kiddos count too. You may have to add an extra table specifically for the kids, which means additional rentals, kid-friendly decor, etc. Another consideration is the capacity of your venue. Will opening the invitation up to kids affect this?

flower girl and ring bearers with toy trumpets
Photo by Mariel Hannah

lace wedding dress with flower crown and flower girl tutu
Photo by Kaylee Chelsea Photography from this chic Malibu wedding

Pro | Fun, Youthful Energy
Kids are undeniably entertaining. They’ll bring a playful spirit to your day, keeping it all smiles (for hopefully all the time!). If you love interacting with children on the daily, or just love watching them kick it on the dance floor, their carefree attitude just may add the element of fun you want for your big day. And encourage the adults to let loose too.

sweet flower girl with tulle dress
Photo by Patrick Moyer via Grey Likes Weddings

woodland wedding ring bearer attire
Photo by Kim Stockwell

Con | Losing the Parents
Distracted parents are just a part of the bargain. They’ll be keeping an eye on their younger kiddos throughout the day, which may mean bathroom breaks during the Father of the Bride speech, or just pockets where they need to take their kids out to run amuck or settle down. If you want the parents to be present for the full shebang, this is definitely something to think about.

boho flower girl dresses
Photo by ctroia via Green Wedding Shoes

printed flower girl dress
Photo by Sally Pinera

Pro | The Parents will Thank You
BUT, the Parents will totally sing your praises from saving them from making babysitting plans, or if they’re having to travel for the wedding, weekend arrangments with family. There’s a whole lotta extra work that goes into making separate plans for the kids, so giving them the option to stay together (if they aren’t dying for a kids-free weekend) just may be a lifesaver.

navy suit ring bearer outfits
Photo by Stephanie Brazzle

floral wedding chuppah with ribbons and french textiles with colorful flower girl dress
Photo by Lara Hotz from this whimsical wedding

Con | Requires Additional Planning
Still, saving the parents from extra planning does put the work on you. You’ll have to think about things like a kid’s table without elaborate (breakable) decorations, a separate kids-room, maybe a professional sitter to keep watch… You’ll also need to throw in some kid-friendly food options and specialized entertainment (i.e. games + activities) that will keep them occupied for a while. If you’re having a wedding that extends late into the night, you may want to consider a transportation option that allows them to leave a bit earlier too. Which again, includes the parents.

kid table wedding ideas
Photo by Heather Forsythe

classic flower girl dress with flower crowns
Photo by Amanda K Photography

We know it’s a tough decision to make either way. The good news is, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. If you want to have a flower girl and ringbearer because they are important kids in your life, but not open up the floodgates for your 200+ wedding guests to bring their kids, that’s totally fine. If you want to invite kids to the ceremony, but keep the reception an adult-only event, also fine. If you want to give an age cut-off… you guessed it. Totally fine! The beauty of being the celebrity couple is that you get to make the calls that are best for you, so think about the ambiance you want to have, the amount of planning you can take on, and the memories you want to make. And don’t sweat the small stuff! Literally ;)

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